If you’ve ever heard me talk about my mission with A Way With Words, you’ll know I believe everyone’s story matters and should be recorded — and that includes those living with dementia. I’ve done many stories for people living with this upsetting illness. Their stories are not just important — they’re essential. They hold the golden threads of identity, joy, connection, and meaning. And when those threads begin to fray through memory loss, revisiting and recording life stories can be a beautiful way to gently weave them together again.
For carers — whether you’re supporting a beloved elder or a younger person navigating early onset dementia — storytelling isn’t just a meaningful activity. It’s a way to honour the person in front of you, to give them agency, and help them reconnect with the life they’ve lived. It also aids them in living life now, by being able to sit and enjoy their memories and stories in the current moment in time. It reminds them, and you, of who they are, not just the challenges they face.
Storytelling for People Living with Dementia is powerful. Life stories act as anchors in the sea of confusion that dementia can bring. They bring comfort, spark recognition, and offer a sense of dignity. Seeing their story in print — even if it’s just a few pages — is powerful. It says: I am still here. I still matter. My life is worth remembering.
And for carers, families and friends, these stories become treasured keepsakes. A laugh, a memory, a phrase — it all brings your loved one back into sharp focus, even long after the words may stop flowing.
So how do we help our loved ones share their story?
You don’t need to be a professional writer or historian to help someone tell their life story. You just need time, patience, and a little guidance. Here are some gentle ways to get started:
1. Start with a photo
Pull out a favourite old photo — maybe a wedding, a holiday, or a moment of everyday life. Ask open-ended questions like:
- What was happening here?
- How did that day feel?
- What do you remember about this place?
Even if they don’t recall the exact details, the image may stir a feeling, a fragment, or a story that’s been long tucked away.
2. Use music as a memory bridge
Music has a remarkable way of bypassing damaged parts of the brain and lighting up memories from long ago. Play songs from their youth or early adulthood. You might be surprised at what comes up — a dance hall romance, the smell of Mum’s cooking, or the thrill of a first car ride.
3. Keep it short and sweet
People with dementia may tire easily, so storytelling in short bursts is best. Let the stories unfold naturally — no need to push or rush.
4. Leave room for the pause
Memories often need time to rise to the surface. Don’t be afraid of silence. A long pause isn’t a sign they’ve forgotten — it might be the moment a story is forming, bubbling to the surface – give them time to grasp it. Give them that space, and when it comes, it’s worth the wait.
5. Respect their truth
It is well known and documented that memory is a fallible thing – mine, yours, everyone’s. The way we experienced an event is different to anyone else in the world – and is therefore recalled in a different way. But it is no less true or otherwise – it is simply our experience. Dementia can alter the way a person recalls events. You might find their version of the story is perhaps factually incorrect. That’s okay. In that moment, it’s their truth. Correcting them can feel confusing or even distressing. Instead, take their story as it comes, as part of their experience — whether it’s real, remembered, or imagined. It still has meaning.
6. Let them lead
This is their story — not yours, not history’s. Some people love to talk about their childhood, while others might fixate on work, hobbies, or a special relationship. Let the topics be guided by their own memories and interests.
Helping someone with dementia tell their life story is not just a lovely project — it’s a gift. A gift of presence. A gift of identity. A gift of legacy.
It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be long. It just needs to be theirs.
So whether you write it down yourself, record it, or use one of the services we have at A Way With Words, I urge you to take the time to capture those stories.
Because memories may fade — but stories, once told, can last forever.
